My daughter came home with an "F" on Science and a "D" in Math. As it turns out, she has unsuccessfully turned in her homework and classwork. In addition to all this, she was also marked down for not taking good notes.
She just gave us a blank stare when we asked her to explain herself. She started blaming the janitor for throwing away her binder. Interestingly enough, it appeared today in her backpack.
We've warned her many times the consequences she's going to face if she continued the path she's taking.
Before she got to middle school, she told us she wanted to be a Veterinarian or a famous writer. She would like to join the Air Force since she heard that they pay good money to send you to college. Of course, like any good and sensible parents, we provided her the correct information she needed to achieve her goals and her assumptions about the Air Force. It's not that we were discouraging her from enlisting. She just needed to know that she has to score at least an 85 on the ASVAB to be considered for the Air Force. At least, that was what I had scored when I was evaluated. If I had been an American citizen then, I would have had a Masters degree in Electrical Engineering by the time I had earned my Staff Sergeant rank.
But of course, that was not what had happened. I was distraught from being dragged all they way from College to start a new life in American soil and live the "American Dream". With that attitude alone, I paid for the consequences of my actions. My one and only regret, I had allowed myself to be vulnerable.
I have not told my daughter a lot of the things I had done as a child mainly because I do not need her to pick up my bad habits in addition to my temperament. I realized she's still able to pick those up by watching me, but at least it would not be reinforced if I had declared my character as truth. My world was different then.
My daughter believes that the world she lives in is cut and dry. We remind her every day that the world is full of opportunities. She just needs to pay attention and grab the opportunity when it's available.
It's bad enough when the professionals of Modern Psychology and Human Behavior are unable to crack the nutshell of our case. How much worse could it get when the social workers get involved?
We haven't given up. We're still trying to make her understand what to expect if she continues to lie, gallivant, ignore the rules and test our boundaries. We told her time and time again, that if she displayed this behavior in public, she would either end up in the streets jobless and/or homeless, locked up in juvenile detention facilities, injured, kidnapped, in prison or dead.
I have no intentions in leaving any details out or adding dramatic contents to this journal. It's a matter of how much effort I have to deal with in picking my battles, as one would put it bluntly.
I have received all kinds of suggestions and tried most of them with respect to my situation. I've even gotten to a point where I had to use WebMD™. Yet again, we are back to square one.
It's not like we've changed the house rules or anything. Those rules have been well-grounded and established since we've gotten primary custody of her in 2009. She may not remember much as a toddler, but I had instilled those rules right after she turned one.
I believe that role model parents would not be able to convince this child otherwise. She listens more to her peers than the assigned authoritative adults or her parents for that matter.
It is still my utmost duty, to perform my necessary function as a parent. Regardless of how often she continues to test our boundaries, we will still stand firm as a united front with positive reinforcement including lots of love, patience and understanding.
She just gave us a blank stare when we asked her to explain herself. She started blaming the janitor for throwing away her binder. Interestingly enough, it appeared today in her backpack.
We've warned her many times the consequences she's going to face if she continued the path she's taking.
Before she got to middle school, she told us she wanted to be a Veterinarian or a famous writer. She would like to join the Air Force since she heard that they pay good money to send you to college. Of course, like any good and sensible parents, we provided her the correct information she needed to achieve her goals and her assumptions about the Air Force. It's not that we were discouraging her from enlisting. She just needed to know that she has to score at least an 85 on the ASVAB to be considered for the Air Force. At least, that was what I had scored when I was evaluated. If I had been an American citizen then, I would have had a Masters degree in Electrical Engineering by the time I had earned my Staff Sergeant rank.
But of course, that was not what had happened. I was distraught from being dragged all they way from College to start a new life in American soil and live the "American Dream". With that attitude alone, I paid for the consequences of my actions. My one and only regret, I had allowed myself to be vulnerable.
I have not told my daughter a lot of the things I had done as a child mainly because I do not need her to pick up my bad habits in addition to my temperament. I realized she's still able to pick those up by watching me, but at least it would not be reinforced if I had declared my character as truth. My world was different then.
My daughter believes that the world she lives in is cut and dry. We remind her every day that the world is full of opportunities. She just needs to pay attention and grab the opportunity when it's available.
It's bad enough when the professionals of Modern Psychology and Human Behavior are unable to crack the nutshell of our case. How much worse could it get when the social workers get involved?
We haven't given up. We're still trying to make her understand what to expect if she continues to lie, gallivant, ignore the rules and test our boundaries. We told her time and time again, that if she displayed this behavior in public, she would either end up in the streets jobless and/or homeless, locked up in juvenile detention facilities, injured, kidnapped, in prison or dead.
I have no intentions in leaving any details out or adding dramatic contents to this journal. It's a matter of how much effort I have to deal with in picking my battles, as one would put it bluntly.
I have received all kinds of suggestions and tried most of them with respect to my situation. I've even gotten to a point where I had to use WebMD™. Yet again, we are back to square one.
It's not like we've changed the house rules or anything. Those rules have been well-grounded and established since we've gotten primary custody of her in 2009. She may not remember much as a toddler, but I had instilled those rules right after she turned one.
I believe that role model parents would not be able to convince this child otherwise. She listens more to her peers than the assigned authoritative adults or her parents for that matter.
It is still my utmost duty, to perform my necessary function as a parent. Regardless of how often she continues to test our boundaries, we will still stand firm as a united front with positive reinforcement including lots of love, patience and understanding.
