If I were to expire from this planet, will I be remembered for the little things that I did?
Would all my efforts trying to be the best possible human being on the planet, be in vain? I survived a lot of things. I supposedly survived a vehicle accident at the age of 3 or 4. I don't recall post trauma of the incident. I do however, remember running across the street to go meet my friend. I survived a fall; 10 feet off the ground. I was forced to walk through the pain. I survived a head injury - a blunt trauma by a metal ruler.
Resilient as my spirit was to fight for survival, my body and soul was in agony. Despite the pain, my will to find happiness overcame the magnitude of despair. As tired as I am with the life I have experienced in my third decade on this unforgiving planet, I still found joy in the little things.
I was taught to respect others and our environment. Yet, witnessed the opposite of what was taught became overwhelming and depressing. Throughout my childhood, all I could do was fight to survive. Even in my sleep, I was restless.
In my dreams I would soar through the sky or swim through the water just to save what was left of my sanctuary. Was I a water bird in my past life? Could I have been a fallen angel left to fend for myself in my desolate world of slumber?
Most of my dreams are not parallel to my experiences during my waking hours. Sometimes I wonder if I truly am traveling through the space time continuum.
Regardless of my past, I have learned a lot about myself. The more of the little things I discover, the desire to move forward becomes less tiresome.
I learned men are capable of feelings. Just not as eloquent as women are. The many women I have met, few are the graceful ones who understand humanity can be redeemed. These several women of whom I met, have raised wonderful children. Children with hearts of gold.
Children are a wonder. I have met peers of kindred spirit who have gone through harsher environments than I have. I rarely found those who have gone through life without pain or suffering. There isn't a single record viable to prove to the world that children are capable of adapting to change.
I've read enough articles and documents to extrapolate the information and facts about behaviors and characteristics of a developing child. One thing is certain. Without wisdom, a child will continue to be obstinate, inconsiderate, disrespectful and self-centered. No, I'm not suggesting to throw the children out to wolves to make them nicer human beings.
I have allowed my child to make their own mistakes. They have yet acquired the wisdom to understand the consequences of their actions. Will they remember the little things I did to aspire them to follow suite?
That is the question. I hope to all the gods of the nations that the answer is, "Yes."
