I was a really quiet and reserved child you ever did see of the early 80's era. I was bullied before in a school called Tadika Nusa Laila Puteri at Berakas, Brunei Darussalam. A group of older boys circled around me, pushed, punched and kicked me until I couldn't get up so that I couldn't hold on to my bag anymore. They stole everything from my bag. If you think that did me in, you assumed wrong.
After my father dealt with the school authorities, he had no other choice but to transfer me to another school. The bullying didn't stop. My mother thought, or so it seemed to me, that bullying me at home would toughen me up. I fought back - with full retaliation of auto-reflex rage of hate. I will guarantee you, if you ask her about it, she'll deny this to her grave.
I bullied my sisters at home, the boys at school and a number of other girls who were just too cute to ignore. What made me stop my tracks on this rampage was not the reprimand that I received from my parents, but a wise and sensible reasoning of a high school boy. This high school boy's name is Rasheed Noor Mohammad. I had bullied his sister into giving me her special headband. In the end, it broke and she told Rasheed what happened. He came up to me and asked, "What did you think you were going to get out of it?" I answered him honestly. He then asked me if I enjoy being bullied if I were in his sister's shoes. I shook my head.
I told his sister I was very sorry. I just wanted to play with it since it had miniature balloons and streamers adorned with black fluffy feathers. I really felt bad for breaking it. After that incident, we became the best of friends. In return, she helped me resolve my sister's issue with a particular menace and "kid" bully at school. This so called "kid" bully was coercing every student of all ages to be her friend or face the consequences of the royal family. Yes, she was a royal pain in the butt. Even the true heirs of the throne were not very fond of her. It turned out she was an adopted orphan of one of the Princes of Brunei.
Anyway, bullying may be illegal in the U.S., but that doesn't mean every institution enforces the law of it's illegal action. Many cases have been ignored or abated with verbal warning. It's not so much who's partaking in the bullying. It's how it's being dealt with and how it's being resolved.
My daughter was being bullied at school. I told her how to handle it. Unfortunately, her father didn't think so kindly of my approach and had my daughter take Kung Fu lessons. By the time she was in second grade, she was punching and kicking other kids because she felt they were too stupid to do what they were told. Where she has gotten that from, is beyond me. Even when I was a bully, I never stooped that low to define my ruling power. Feeling powerless is one thing; thinking you're better than anyone else is another story entirely. That's where the label: Dickhead, Jerk, Bitch and Asshole come to play.
It's been three years now since I have left her father. Her stepfather and I believed the structured environment would do her some good and better time for healing her past hurt. She adores her stepfather like he was her own father. She takes in his counsel more than she does mine. We're still wondering why this behavior still lingers.
Here's my daughter's dilemma. There are other bullies bigger and stronger than her. She doesn't like them. She fights back like a gelding on a breastcollar harness. When she's in that mode, she's gone hay-wired. She retaliates at the teacher, her classmates, everybody. We told her numerous times that this is behavior could land her in jail. What would a mother like me ought to do?
Bully like no other bullies have gone before.
"Kyle: Time to meet your makers!
Clark: Makers of what? POOP?" Author Unknown in The Benchwarmers - 2006
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