The Stress of raising a relentless child

The summer has begun and nothing has changed. I still have to make sure she has done her chores, made her own meals and performed her routines. Any parent who has not experienced fatigue, insomnia and depression, I applaud you with great awe.

It has recently been a debate whether or not she should be sent to my mother for the summer. The conclusion always ended up as a dismay. My mother doesn't need to have to raise another child; let alone her own grand-daughter. She had already raised four of her own and had suffered enough by doing so. Needless to say, I am bound to this child until the day she learns to grasp the concept that the whole world doesn't revolve around her.

We have tried positive reinforcement, counseling, impervious discipline and constant mentoring. This child will not budge a sense of acknowledgement of sages. There were moments I have to go to my own solace to sigh grievances and contemplate defeat. As much as I love to pamper her like a princess, I just cannot allow myself to leave her vulnerable to a cruel world. I never had, and I never will treat her like a princess. Yet, here she is demanding for it to be so.

My sanity has not been perverted, but my dreams have. Every fortnight or so, the scenery may differ, but they all end the same. I watch her die or find her dead. Sometimes, I ask myself if the dreams are a sign of premonition or if it's a worse case scenario assuming that she hasn't learned to scrutinize her own behavior. Amidst all this folly in my head, I am still the strict mother she refuses to adhere to. *scoffs* [needs to find a bare wall in the office to bang my head on]

If therapy isn't the solution, I don't know what is. My only resolution is life. Let nature take it's course. If she hasn't learned from her own life lessons... I rest my case.